Just curiosity, in a moment free
A drawer I pulled out.
It was a sudden shock, it made me reel and rock.
I had not a doubt,
That those women bare, exposing all their ware
Would my senses fill, with fantasy and thrill
But my will was determined not to start.

Although I closed it tight, inside I had a fight
The drawer and my will.
I thought with one more look, I could just close the book
And know that I had my fill.
But each day by day, the drawer had its way
Of clenching my desire, with such a burning fire
To consume all I could on those pages.

It was a lovely night, and ah! The moon was right
We went for a ride.
No destination sure, we found an open door
And went on inside.
Music filled the air, and mingled with cold beer;
Dancers in the dark, some moving and some parked.
We looked up, there they were, erotic girlies.

I vowed I would, in fact I vowed I could
Not go there again
But in a little while, it just became my style

Along with some friend.
"Others do it too, so why not me and you.
We always can confess, and God will surely bless
After all, we're in church more than many".

I didn't know the turf so I began to surf
The channels one day;
To see if it was true, that red and white and blue
There was this array.
Movies, sports and song, and news the whole day long.
Televangel talk. I didn't have to walk.
Anywhere, anytime. It's on the cable.

I saw the red and white a little horror sight
But this was my day!
Since I was home alone, only the telephone
could get in my way.
Now I'll try the blue, the movies of life true.
Someone had said "They're there". My concentrated stare
Was turned over to life in the nude.

Refrain Eating out the guts of my commitment
Confiscating most of my contentment

Stirring up the shame of defilement
Causing guilt and fear and resentment

Draining out the heart of my emotion(s)
Leaking out the life of my devotion
Weakening the strength of my conviction
Sucking out the soul of my salvation.
Staining my respected reputation
Lowering my standards and ambition
Cheapening my self-estimation
Robbing me of deep satisfaction.
Laughing in my face about conversion
Terrorizing my participation
Mocking my attempts at Communion.

I was so innocent, when I paid the rent
And plopped down the floor;
With my best friend, and his/her good friend
And a youth from next door.
Oh it felt so good, just like I thought it would
To be among some company, of persons who relaxed and free
Like me, could enjoy a video.

But I turned ill at ease, when he began to squeeze
Her body to his;
It was a copied scene right from the TV screen
With all but the fizz.
Stolen waters sweet. My heart just skipped a beat.
"I'm not a piece of meat. I'm not here as your treat"
He was deaf to my pleas,
So I just let him.
(Crying in the background)

Copyright 1996 Donovan D. Cole